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A local police department recently shared a public service announcement of such importance that I immediately felt the need to pass it along to my readers.

I’ll paraphrase:

Warning! It has been confirmed that a highly addictive substance is being sold in the Abingtons both on the streets and through the internet and delivered to our homes and neighborhoods. This substance comes in small, cardboard boxes of different colors including but not limited to yellow, purple, green and red. It is sold primarily by little people who strategically pull their potential victims in with their cute smiles. Once you engage these little people in conversation, you’re done for. Before you know it, you’ll be handing over your hard-earned cash and walking away with at least one (but probably more) boxes of this substance of which you will never be able to get enough. What’s worse, in just a couple short months, the local supply of this substance will dry up, leaving you with no choice but to wait almost a year for its return.

The “PSA” refers, of course, to Girl Scout Cookies.

In the post I saw, the police department went on to heroically offer its services to help rid residents of this “highly addictive substance.” It stated that anyone in possession of these “colorful boxes” may drop them off at the police station – no questions asked – to be “properly disposed of” by the “trained officers.”

This offer is certainly commendable, but our brave men and women in law enforcement already have so much work without one more thing to worry about. Which is why I’d like to offer my services to help all our police departments clean up the streets and neighborhoods of the Abingtons.

I, too, will be happy to help anyone in possession to “properly dispose of” this “substance.” Especially the kind in the red boxes – those, in my opinion, are the most addictive and therefore dangerous.

I may not have the same training the police officers do, but I have experience, and I understand and am willing to take on the risk. So, if you haven’t already surrendered them at your local police station, feel free to send your boxes my way, and I will, uh, take care of them for you.

All joking aside, Girl Scout Cookie season is here, and I couldn’t be happier. I already made my first online purchase of four boxes from the daughter of a friend’s fiance, and I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before I run into a Girl Scout troop while I’m out running errands. It won’t take much convincing for me to buy a second supply of Tagalongs from them, too.

Yes, Tagalongs are my favorite. Chocolate and peanut butter – I don’t think a better flavor combination exists.

I realize, however, many people disagree. And that’s okay.

All the more for me.

I polled my Facebook friends about their favorite Girl Scout cookies, and found their answers varied greatly.

Amber Pool, Andrew Dule, Helen Karpowich and Nicole Fenton all share my feelings about Tagalongs.

Jake McNamara said Samoas are the best.

“Anyone that says otherwise is wrong,” he wrote.

Well, Jake, I beg to differ. But then, you won’t catch me eating anything tainted by coconut.

Kathryn Alfred, Hannah Over, Georgette Lamb, Deby Russell and Aimee Novak are also all crazy for Samoas. Don’t worry, guys; I forgive you.

It seems my inquiry also unintentionally poured salt on fresh wounds, as several of my friends are in love with Savannah Smiles, a cookie that is unavailable this year.

Jacob Tribe described this treat, “the tartness of the lemon and the sweetness of the powdered sugar meld perfectly together.”

“Bring back my Savannah Smiles,” came Jessi Notari’s cry of despair.

Michele Meredith agreed, adding she doesn’t understand why they changed.

And then there’s the Thin Mints club of which Amanda Ammermann, Daria Sikorski, Aimee Novak, Becky Raymer and Jane Honchell are all members.

I don’t mind munching on a Thin Mint every so often if they’re in front of me, but I’ve never been a fan of the chocolate-mint combination.

Ask almost anyone to name their favorite Girl Scout cookie, and he or she will most likely have a sure answer without even thinking about it. Not everyone agrees on the best kind, but most will agree: they’re worth waiting for.

And now that we have the option to find local Girl Scout cookie sales online – and even from the Girl Scout Cookie Finder mobile app – and purchase directly from the website (visit bit.ly/2tHgwy1), there’s no stopping the cookie craze.

Not that any of us want to.

Contact the writer: ebaumeister@timesshamrock.com; 570-348-9185, ext. 3492